Just Do One Thing to Be Happier

Know your dream: the secret to being happy.
“. . . empirical research has repeatedly shown that striving toward self-concordant goals strengthens the link between goal progress and well-being.” Can you afford not to be following your dreams?

Hi I hope you are feeling great. I’m going to share some insights and practical tips on how to realise your dreams and be happier by doing just ONE thing.

Learning how to rediscover your dream and be happier.

A lot of people know what their dream is. For some us the answer is not so clear. No need to beat yourself up about this though. In fact, what I have realised is that our dreams are often more about “rediscovering” our dreams and not actually “discovering” our dreams. Let me explain:

It was a lot easier when we were younger

A lot of us forget what our dreams are. What do I mean? Well, when you talk to children, they know exactly what their dreams are. They know exactly what they want to be when they grow up. Put this theory to the test. Ask the next child you meet under the age of 10 what they want to do in their lives and sure enough they will have an answer on the tip of their tongue.

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were little?

By contrast when you ask an adult, they are not so sure, or they sigh because they feel life has passed them by or even worse they think it’s a pointless question. Well it’s not. And as adults we forget what our childhood dreams are. We feel we need to go out and search for our dream or that it will somehow find us. In reality all we need to do is stop a while and listen to ourselves to find that inner clarity again.

Finding Clarity Progress Planner - Discover how on track you are with your true dream.

When we get in touch with our hearts again, things start to fall in place. It’s amazing how everything starts to click. This is the first step to be happier. Unfortunately a lot of dreams are still inside people’s hearts. They are not living them on the outside. Instead they are working 9 to 5, wasting their lives for someone else’s dream.

That was me too. For a lot of years I detached myself from my dreams, from my heart. I wanted to be a dancer and I ended up working as a Sales Manager in an office without windows. Back then I was going to work in the dark and getting the bus back home in a strange town on my own, in the dark. I remember thinking to myself: “Is this what I studied so hard for all those years so I could be alone in the dark feeling tired all the time?” It’s crazy! Why did my parents and everyone else seem to think this was the right thing to do? And why does society encourage children to do this?

Is ignoring our heart, desires and dreams simply easier?

Because our dreams can bring pleasure, they will by default also bring worry or fear of failure. When we follow our path and go our own way, we leave ourselves and our heart open to the “elements”. So perhaps it is easier to follow a path with less emotion. Maybe we feel safer ignoring our heart when we no longer have endless courage like we did as children. We accumulate fear as we get older. This fear stops us from living our dream. We collect the toxic barnacles of society and criticism and these weigh us down, leaving us unable to move, preferring to remain cocooned in a 9 to 5 job.

Why did I say that it is worse when people think asking what your dreams are is a pointless question? Because those people have an added layer of barnacles. The layer of cynicism. Being cynical provides them with a protective barrier to opening up and laying their hearts bare. They are scared of imagining what it would be like to realise their true desires. Being exposed like that, being vulnerable makes them prone to a failure they are not willing to face, so they don’t even try.

Instead they pick a predictable life. They choose a path that is safer without the fear of failure and pain. But when you choose a path that is not your own to ignore this fear and pain, you are also shutting down to feeling alive. You are living a half-life. This path will bring other pain such as depression and self-loathing.

What can I do to change this?

You might feel like I did 3 years ago: burnt out. I didn’t have the energy any more, I’d burnt out doing work for 10 hours a day in someone else’s office or company. I had nothing left to give. Because when I stopped following my dreams, I stopped living. I stopped being me. And it’s hard to get that back. In fact, you might feel that it’s impossible. It took me a while with some setbacks too, living on the breadline, but I refused to go back to the rat race or hamster wheel – sorry for all the rodent metaphors!

You have to remember your dream. Start listening to yourself again.

The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.

Marshal Ferdinand Foch (1851-1929)

When you are doing what you truly want, you can find the excitement and joy again. Then the money doesn’t matter anymore. Besides, you never have enough anyway. You always need or want more. So don’t let that stop you getting back in touch with your dream. Realising your dream could be extremely powerful – not just for you, but for your family, friends and community.

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up everyday knowing you are going to do what you love!?

The one thing you need to do to be happier is to follow your dream

“. . . empirical research has repeatedly shown that striving toward self-concordant goals strengthens the link between goal progress and well-being”

Bettina Wiese, University of Zurich

Get reconnected with your head and heart. Follow the practical tips in this free download and then sign up for the online course. Finding Clarity provides you with an easy strategy to increase your self-awareness and get you back on track where you are supposed to be.

Finding Clarity Progress Planner - Discover how on track you are with your true dream.

Get out of the shadow of doubt and walk in the valley of life. You deserve to be happier. As the expert so eloquently puts it:

“… the successful pursuit of meaningful goals plays an important role in the development and maintenance of our psychological well-being. To the extent that when we’re making progress on our goals, we’re happier emotionally and more satisfied with our lives.”

Timothy A. Pychyl Ph.D.

Don’t delay, register now and rediscover your true dream. YES PLEASE!

When you find clarity you know what you want. You can set clear goals and create more impact.

How to plan for success and get unstuck

Harness the energies of March and create a plan that is right for you. Drop all those useless, time wasting projects and focus on your priorities. Get a perfect plan in under an hours and start March-ing to the beat of your own desires.

March: a month of creativity and enterprise 

A few words on listening to your instincts and getting unstuck from your current “state of stuckness”.

In January we are ready for change. To turn a new, fresh leaf. In February we start to see all these great new ideas. In March we have to set these in stone. Don’t let them slip away as you may begin to lose momentum in the coming months. It’s time to plan and capitalise on all these great creative energies within you and around you.

Use the energies of March

According to those in touch with nature, we’re in a month of creativity and inspiration. March is filled with energies that will propel us forward in new directions where we can make progress towards existing goals. Have you felt a shift this month? Are you feeling the need to plan and get rid of the superfluous? I am. Never before have I felt so in harmony with my surroundings and my “gut” instinct. 

This push to really get my ducks in a row (as much as I hate that saying) started at the end of last year. Admittedly it followed the usual need to declutter and start afresh. But this year is different. Why? You may ask with a hint of cynicism. Because this time I’m actually acting on and not just listening to what my “niggling” thoughts are telling me. I urge you to do the same. Get unstuck. The time is ripe to strike forwards at your dreams and aspirations. Use the energies of March to make a real plan to make your projects real, too.

How to move forwards this year

Step 1

Figure out where are you stuck and write it all down. Which projects are taking up too much of your time? Which New Year’s resolutions have already hit the fan? Write down all the areas where you are stuck or not making progress.

Step 2

Figure out what your priorities are. We’re always really good at giving advice to our friends so apply this to yourself. Imagine your problem is your friend’s problem. Imagine they are expecting you to provide them with possible solutions as usual. Even go so far as to pretend they are coming to see you in an hour or ten minutes, so you have to get your thoughts together quick and come up with a plan for them. Write it down. Don’t waste time. No more than an hour. Stick to your priorities.

Step 3

Be creative. Even though you are being more objective because the “problem” is not your own, you can also get creative with this process and ask friends to help out. Present your proposals from Step 2 to a friend. I asked a friend of mine who runs several bars and cafes to give me one hour of her time as a consultant. Just knowing I’d have to present my position to her made me write everything out with the pros, cons, investments, projected revenue, spider diagrams, business wheels, the lot. I answered most of my questions before she arrived, but having her there resolved the stray ends and consolidated my areas of focus.

The time to plan for success is now. Take a few minutes to take charge of your life. Get a step by step system that works and that you will stick to keep. Step one: know what your priorities are. Read more...

Now it’s your turn

Don’t delay. Do the above in a day. Don’t take more than an hour to find solutions. After you have planned out your priorities you’ll finally feel in alignment with your inner values and core beliefs. If you ignore them again and continue fire fighting and spreading yourself thin, you will continue to feel discomfort, dissatisfaction and fatigue. Life is so much more of a breeze when your dancing to the rhythm of your own beat. Pay attention to your internal compass for navigating your life and knowing what needs to be attended to.

Ready for change and the good life

March is a month where you can expect the unexpected. Follow your intuition as you step into a journey or new opportunities. Your intuition will strengthen with your resolve the  more  tuned  in  to your inner voice you become.  

Turn your aspirations in actions

You’re ready for change and ready to live a more authentic life. March challenges you to bravely  move in new directions.  Any kind of forward movement is better than staying  stuck. Face up to those feelings that show you where you’re stuck or needing change. 

Work smarter not harder

Remember your new plan following from steps 1,2,3 above. Don’t be stuck doing endless chores for others or all that work you make for yourself to keep yourself busy in order to ignore the real issues in your life. On the other hand, you may enjoy what you do, but ask yourself: Am I doing too much and not doing any of my own projects the full justice they deserve? 

When I stopped to ask myself that question, I made a brave bold decision to drop half of what I do. I simply struck half of my projects off my to do list – they are on the backburner for when I have time some day in the future. Now instead of inching forwards with multiple projects, I have 3 core areas of focus that will propel forwards through my more targeted use of time.

Don’t forget to think of yourself

Please also consider all your side-hustles and social media stuff. Are you actually factoring in how many unpaid hours you are putting in? Make sure you are getting back a value that reflects the effort you put in. Whether that value is monetary or simply in terms of satisfaction and enjoyment (a spider diagram is good to assess this).

By having a plan that is clear and simple, you will no longer be working non-stop or becoming despondent that your projects are not moving forwards because you’ve been spreading yourself too thin. Now you’ll have time for some self care (a big favourite of mine) and you’ll have time to think and reflect, therefore ultimately make better decisions, both on a personal and professional level.

Structure will give you freedom

Try getting organised using one or all of the methods below (everyone has a way that works best for them). See how you can then start to free up some time for your wellbeing and how this makes you more focused and productive. Notice also how you are more satisfied and content with yourself and your work because it is moving forward. 

  • To Do List: If you’re a checklist person and like crossing things off, make a ToDo list every day so you can cross some great big fact juicy lines through your list and get a sense of satisfaction. Only include your priorities, write the “blue sky” stuff on a separate list.
  • Start using a planner – e.g. Asana or your google calendar or simply with a writing pad. Divide it into your main areas of focus. Keep a cover sheet with an overview monthly calendar so you can see when important deadlines, dates or events are looming. Keep you to do list on the top, visible at all times. Write this list every morning (or at the end of your work day) so you are ready and have direction. This prevents you flouncing around like a butterfly willy-nilly without any true direction.
  • Divide the jobs into little jobs. If you’re a real organiser like me, set aside a few hours for planning each of your main projects and subdivide them into major tasks and then subdivide those down into the smaller tasks until you can create a timeline to getting your wish list done (Gantt chart).
  • Make a pizza. Some people see it like making a pizza in reverse: you know what the end product is going to look like, now break it down into the ingredients and steps required, remembering to factor in preparation time and cooking time for each section. This is how you will approach the subdivision of your major projects into smaller more manageable tasks along a timeline that starts with your ideal or set deadline and works back to where you are today. 

By creating routines, systems, structures and processes in your life this month you’ll be creating an environment that supports change, innovation and continued improvement. You’ll be creating the framework that will give you freedom as your projects take flight.

Since it is the month for inventiveness creativity and thinking outside of the box, isn’t it time you were March-ing in time with your own rhythm?

how to get fit guide
Read this ultimate motivation guide to help you plan for success

Self Care for Writers: My Strategy for Success

Making it in the world of writing takes a lot of creative energy and self discipline. All the more reason to look after yourself. Relaxing, doing less, eating well, exercising and self care routines are all essential to helping you stay focused, productive and on top of your game. Take a step back to take a step up the success ladder.

Self care for writers may not be a sexy topic as we prefer to think of ourselves as artistes slogging away in dank rooms lit by smouldering candles. Romantic as that may seem, if you’re  healthy and have a balanced approach to your writing, you are more likely to have financial success.

Paying heed to your emotional and physical well-being is important for staying creative, healthy, focused and alert! Mindfulness, stretches, workouts, massage, self-care, meditations and healthy eating all play a part. This site gives you tips on how to combat depression, anxiety, exhaustion, and/or stress.

7 relaxation and revitalising techniques for writers - essential self care routine for success

The secret to success is simple: Living a natural, holistic life, making sure our wheel is balanced. The World of Wellness and Writing champions the concept of “Personal Wellness”, offering illustrations, explanations and courses to open up opportunities for writers to push through boundaries, feel better about themselves and be rid of the struggles.

WELLNESS BEFORE WRITING

Most websites addressing the concept of wellness in association with writing, usually refer to writing as a method for improve your personal wellbeing. Writing is often used as a cathartic method for releasing inner emotions, negativity and memories stored at a cellular level. This website however turns this process on its head. We are looking at how wellness can help the writer .

For example, you cannot perform if you haven’t got a healthy diet. Having the right nutrition and diet feeding and fueling yourself properly is essential (read the aloe vera story)

 Writing a book takes a huge amount of energy, in every sense: physically, mentally, emotionally, and creatively. Keep up your energy levels and focus with the right diet for you.

If you are physically uncomfortable or unwell this will be a hindrance to your performance as a writer. Most writers suffer from poor posture as we hunch over when we are engrossed din our writing. And when we get into the “flow” we can hold this position for hours without noticing. Take some easy steps to counteract this pain and potentially harmful writer’s habit.

Writers often sit for hours at a desk - discover how to relieve and even heal your back pain - free ebook.

Self care practices for writers bring balance to the choppy seas of a writer’s life. Learn to cultivate a life that supports your writing! By putting Wellness before Writing and you will perform better.

RELEASE YOUR INNER WARRIOR

Conquer self-doubt, find your true path and become a confident writer

That is why we advocate “stepping out of your body and onto the page”.

If you feel good about yourself and are working with all your engines fixing at 100%, it is amazing what results and work you can produce.

Simple tricks like eating healthily, getting enough sleep and having the right environment can improve your writing  no end. The same also applies to freelance workers of all kinds. I offer tips and routines her to help you become more energised, organised and productive.

I BELIEVE IN WORKING SMARTER NOT HARDER.

STRANGE AS IT MAY SOUND, BY DOING LESS YOU ACTUALLY ACHIEVE MORE. FOR STARTERS YOUR'RE MORE RELAXED AND LESS ANXIOUS. YOU BECOME MORE EFFECTIVE AS A WRITER BY DOING LESS. DON'T FORCE IT. GO WITH THE FLOW.

Only do what you need or want to. Ditch the rest. There really isn’t any more to it than that unless you are looking to make your life complicated. here are some tips to help you plan.

Don’t forget your local community

In order to sustain my personal wellness I noticed that I also needed to  have the right “community wellness” around me as well. By that I mean the right surroundings, support and stimulus. I am fortunate to live in the beautiful spa town of Harrogate in the north of England. Here everything is in balance, the architecture an open green spaces, the nightlife for the younger generation plus activities and communities for the older generation. We have a proactive local council who promote the physical and mental health of local residents whilst also providing a beautiful environment in which we live. This attitude is further supported by local business owners.

A town with a healing past and still developing business for the future. I’m very lucky indeed. What great assets does your town have to offer?

WHAT YOU NEED AS A WRITER

Some key ingredients to success as a writer

  • Personal wellness – you’re probably familiar with this but our blog posts will keep you informed of effective methods and provide you with informative articles on improving your wellbeing, explaining concept of personal wellbeing. A lifestyle.
  • The right surroundings from your home office, to your garden and town. Everything you see impacts on you. In a boxed dark room depressed, open spaces free to think.
  • Changes, stimulus – mental and visual: theatre, conferences, meet-ups.
  • Very active local community with its own Tribes and Book Clubs, Writing Circles, etc.
  • Variety and routine

MACRO level – celebrate and use your town

MICRO level – promote and support your personal wellbeing

When your energy is flowing, your chakras are open and your brain is firing you will set your pages on fire.

Use crystals to get your energies flowing freely. This will improve your focus, creativity and productivity as a writer.

Have a few freebie guides to self-help your way to this state of creativity and productivity. Guides on how to get organised the absolute key to any freelancer’s life, plus some help on getting published, retreats to stimulate your inner writing warrior and courses in Yogitivity that will change the way you live and write forever.

If you need to break free from bad habits, feel a little better about yourself and get focused, one of my own guides can help you with that. Remember self care and personal development are your secret weapons to becoming a great writer.

powerful books for self-care and personal growth to bring out the best in you as a woman