Just Do One Thing to Be Happier

Know your dream: the secret to being happy.
“. . . empirical research has repeatedly shown that striving toward self-concordant goals strengthens the link between goal progress and well-being.” Can you afford not to be following your dreams?

Hi I hope you are feeling great. I’m going to share some insights and practical tips on how to realise your dreams and be happier by doing just ONE thing.

Learning how to rediscover your dream and be happier.

A lot of people know what their dream is. For some us the answer is not so clear. No need to beat yourself up about this though. In fact, what I have realised is that our dreams are often more about “rediscovering” our dreams and not actually “discovering” our dreams. Let me explain:

It was a lot easier when we were younger

A lot of us forget what our dreams are. What do I mean? Well, when you talk to children, they know exactly what their dreams are. They know exactly what they want to be when they grow up. Put this theory to the test. Ask the next child you meet under the age of 10 what they want to do in their lives and sure enough they will have an answer on the tip of their tongue.

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were little?

By contrast when you ask an adult, they are not so sure, or they sigh because they feel life has passed them by or even worse they think it’s a pointless question. Well it’s not. And as adults we forget what our childhood dreams are. We feel we need to go out and search for our dream or that it will somehow find us. In reality all we need to do is stop a while and listen to ourselves to find that inner clarity again.

Finding Clarity Progress Planner - Discover how on track you are with your true dream.

When we get in touch with our hearts again, things start to fall in place. It’s amazing how everything starts to click. This is the first step to be happier. Unfortunately a lot of dreams are still inside people’s hearts. They are not living them on the outside. Instead they are working 9 to 5, wasting their lives for someone else’s dream.

That was me too. For a lot of years I detached myself from my dreams, from my heart. I wanted to be a dancer and I ended up working as a Sales Manager in an office without windows. Back then I was going to work in the dark and getting the bus back home in a strange town on my own, in the dark. I remember thinking to myself: “Is this what I studied so hard for all those years so I could be alone in the dark feeling tired all the time?” It’s crazy! Why did my parents and everyone else seem to think this was the right thing to do? And why does society encourage children to do this?

Is ignoring our heart, desires and dreams simply easier?

Because our dreams can bring pleasure, they will by default also bring worry or fear of failure. When we follow our path and go our own way, we leave ourselves and our heart open to the “elements”. So perhaps it is easier to follow a path with less emotion. Maybe we feel safer ignoring our heart when we no longer have endless courage like we did as children. We accumulate fear as we get older. This fear stops us from living our dream. We collect the toxic barnacles of society and criticism and these weigh us down, leaving us unable to move, preferring to remain cocooned in a 9 to 5 job.

Why did I say that it is worse when people think asking what your dreams are is a pointless question? Because those people have an added layer of barnacles. The layer of cynicism. Being cynical provides them with a protective barrier to opening up and laying their hearts bare. They are scared of imagining what it would be like to realise their true desires. Being exposed like that, being vulnerable makes them prone to a failure they are not willing to face, so they don’t even try.

Instead they pick a predictable life. They choose a path that is safer without the fear of failure and pain. But when you choose a path that is not your own to ignore this fear and pain, you are also shutting down to feeling alive. You are living a half-life. This path will bring other pain such as depression and self-loathing.

What can I do to change this?

You might feel like I did 3 years ago: burnt out. I didn’t have the energy any more, I’d burnt out doing work for 10 hours a day in someone else’s office or company. I had nothing left to give. Because when I stopped following my dreams, I stopped living. I stopped being me. And it’s hard to get that back. In fact, you might feel that it’s impossible. It took me a while with some setbacks too, living on the breadline, but I refused to go back to the rat race or hamster wheel – sorry for all the rodent metaphors!

You have to remember your dream. Start listening to yourself again.

The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.

Marshal Ferdinand Foch (1851-1929)

When you are doing what you truly want, you can find the excitement and joy again. Then the money doesn’t matter anymore. Besides, you never have enough anyway. You always need or want more. So don’t let that stop you getting back in touch with your dream. Realising your dream could be extremely powerful – not just for you, but for your family, friends and community.

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up everyday knowing you are going to do what you love!?

The one thing you need to do to be happier is to follow your dream

“. . . empirical research has repeatedly shown that striving toward self-concordant goals strengthens the link between goal progress and well-being”

Bettina Wiese, University of Zurich

Get reconnected with your head and heart. Follow the practical tips in this free download and then sign up for the online course. Finding Clarity provides you with an easy strategy to increase your self-awareness and get you back on track where you are supposed to be.

Finding Clarity Progress Planner - Discover how on track you are with your true dream.

Get out of the shadow of doubt and walk in the valley of life. You deserve to be happier. As the expert so eloquently puts it:

“… the successful pursuit of meaningful goals plays an important role in the development and maintenance of our psychological well-being. To the extent that when we’re making progress on our goals, we’re happier emotionally and more satisfied with our lives.”

Timothy A. Pychyl Ph.D.

Don’t delay, register now and rediscover your true dream. YES PLEASE!

When you find clarity you know what you want. You can set clear goals and create more impact.

Inspirational Self Help Books for Women FREE

Life changing personal development books for FREE for you. Download 6 inspirational self help guides in audio format to help live a self-determined life.

This is perhaps the most valuable FREE resource page I am offering you. Being able to benefit from well-researched inspirational self help books that will help you grow in every area of your life is priceless. These books will not only help you develop and grow spiritually and mentally, they will also help you manage money, improve your fitness levels and adopt a positive mindset.

Life changing self help books for women. Download the audio version of these 6 inspirational personal development guides absolutely FREE.

Life changing personal development books for FREE for you

“Books that change your life!” Wow that sounds like a big claim. Can books do that? Not without a little input from you. But they can certainly serve as a source of inspiration on the path of change. If you want to take charge of your own life right now, reshape it, sculpt it and break new ground, then I have some exciting inspiration for books that can change your life. FREE. So you can find your own path leading to a beautiful and good life. The most important factor is to listen to yourself, to follow your inner voice. Only then can you succeed in a self-determined life. I followed my inner voice and went my own way, and I’m still walking. However, change often requires a little food for thought from external sources.

So here are some of my self help books that provide you with new inspiration time and time again to make the most of the precious life you are living.

Beware these self-help books may change your life!

To give you a better overview, I have divided my self-help books into different categories. Depending on the area in which you want to change your life.

  1. Motivation – to help you reach fitness goals and gain clarity
  2. Confidence booster – Feeling good about yourself
  3. Breaking bad habits – Get the right mindset to ditch habits that are keeping you back
  4. Happiness – Having a positive mindset
  5. Finances – Don’t stress about money, get saving savvy

1. The Ultimate Motivation Guide

The ultimate motivation guide: How to Get Fit with Reiki and Music. With step by step instructions from trained Reiki healer and tips on how to select the music to best for you. Get motivated, stay motivated!
How to Get Fit… to be released in February 2019

2. How to Feel More Confident, Gorgeous + Grounded

3. Get Rid of Unwanted Habits

4. Discover How to Be Happier

5. A Concise Guide on How to Save Money

Please download as many as you like, it is a free service available on audio to promote further learning. If yo don’t already have an audible account you can try it for free for 30 days. If you have any problems, please let me know. Otherwise, enjoy your FREEBIES!!

Break Free From Addictions That Are Holding You Back

OWN IT – HATE IT – BEAT IT

An inspirational self help book for women in their 30s and 40s: "How to Give up Drinking and Be Part of the World Again"

READ THIS if you are a 30-40-something woman dependent on alcohol and want to stop drinking now. Because you might think you’re a party animal when you’re drinking or that those few innocent glasses of wine at night do you good, whereas in fact the “drink devil” inside you is running your life, not you. Take control of your life again.

Are you a party animal or simply slave to your drink devil - learn how to remove the crutch of alcohol form your life
Party animal with a devil inside

That next drink represents a great big FULL STOP on the rest of your day, evening, life and dreams. In 3 steps you can stop being dependent on drink as a crutch and reclaim your body, mind and LIFE!

Take steps to stop drinking

This powerful guide will take you through the steps to give up drinking for good if it is wrecking your life or to quit drinking alcohol as a form of escape. Drinking should be something you enjoy every now and then, not a demon that dictates your life.

The first step to giving up drinking is to admit your dependency on alcohol

STEP 1.

The first step to giving up drinking is to admit your dependency on alcohol

The  second step to giving up drinking is to demonize your habit.

STEP 2.

The second step to giving up drinking is to demonize your habit. List why you hate it. What it is stopping you from doing and achieving. All the negative stuff.

The final step in giving up drinking is to beat the habit - retrain your brain!

STEP 3.

The final step is actually pretty easy if you’ve done Step 2 properly and thoroughly. To beat the habit you will retrain your brain to loathe drinking so much you will not even want to tough a drop.

With the help of this guide, you will restore yourself- esteem, which is far more powerful. This guide helps you understand why you are dependent on alcohol, what it is doing to you and how to stop drinking every day. Through the proven OWN IT – HATE IT BEAT IT method, you can re-educate yourself to want something better, something more from your life than just a bad head, de-energised body and self-loathing.

How to Give up Drinking and Be Part of the World Again - inspirational self- help book for women in their 30s and 40s

Benefits of not drinking

Removing alcohol from your system is an essential part of detoxing and healthy living. Here are some of the less commonly quoted reasons why you should NOT drink heavily and regularly:

  • less control over your body and actions
  • don’t be a sheep and just do what everyone else does
  • alcohol is really expensive
  • it’s pointless if you can’t remember the good time you had
  • you’d rather enjoy the other 90% of your day than just 10%
  • you lose your path

Help yourself to fulfill your aspirations and put your fickle ego out to dry. Become the bright shining version of yourself you want to be and are.

WAKE UP EVERY DAY WITH A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT AND PURPOSE INSTEAD OF A HANGOVER!

FREE AUDIO VERSION

Simply click on the image or copy and paste this website address to listen for FREE!

An inspirational audio book on how to give up drinking
Free audio on How to Give up Drinking

Reviews on “How to Give up Drinking”

“One of the best books on how to stop drinking ever!”

“This book on how to give up drinking empowers women to get their life back. A must read.”

“This is one of these books that anyone can find inspiration from. Being positive can be a challenge for anyone that is dealing with any kind of struggle, this book helps you find that positivity again and focus on what is important for you!”

Order your copy of “How to Give up Drinking” now

Don’t waste another day. Order your copy of this inspirational guide now

"This book on how to give up drinking empowers women to get their life back. A must read."

My Miracle Morning

Are you following your miracle morning or someone else’s miracle morning? Ask yourself, are you so busy rushing around making sure that you hit those targets, doing someone else’s routine, trying to be like that successful person that you haven’t even stopped to realize you may have already arrived?

Today I woke up and literally smelled the roses. In short, I had a revelation – not quite an epiphany. Actually, it was more of a niggling thought that had long lain dormant and ignored at the pit of my subconscious mind. What was this fantastic revelation that made today my miracle morning?

I realized I had arrived!
I had been so wrapped up in trying to be like the famous successful people, trying to follow their “miracle morning” routines that I had lost sight of what I had accomplished in my life. Until I stopped.

How did this revelation manifest itself? In a moment of self-quizzing. Why was it that I couldn’t get up at 5am and go for a run!!?? Didn’t that mean I’d never be truly successful if I didn’t….? Hang on. Hold up. Stop everything. That’s insane. It was in that moment I realized I was doing exactly what I wanted to do in my life. But I was doing it MY WAY. For instance, there is no need for me to even get up early! I’m my own boss! I don’t need to freeze my **** off in the cold rain on a morning jog. Most importantly, it dawned on me (no pun intended) I already have everything I want in life. Everything and anything from here on in is going to be a bonus.

Rushing around so much trying to be the best without realising you actually are the best! Don't wake up and smell the coffee, wake up and smell the roses!

To put it simply, this “revelation” brought me back to my roots and it made me feel stronger than ever. I did not need to follow the morning routines of others (no disrespect to the real Miracle Morning author). I needed to do what came naturally to me. And I was (am). What’s more, it was (is) working.

I realized I had arrived!

Definition of my success?

  • Loving and healthy children and a loving family
  • Blessed with close friends that are a part of my soul
  • I run my own business, work my own hours – from home!
  • My personal fitness – better than when I was 20
  • Published 14 books that I am proud of!
  • Fab website for writers that helps them realize their potential and dreams whilst boosting their wellbeing!!

The list goes on, but you get the idea. Perhaps most important of all, is the fact I am doing it all MY WAY. Following our natural choices is key to our liberation, sense of accomplishment and ultimate success. I no longer want or need to fit into the molds made and propagated by others.

Doing it your way

Do it your way!

I don’t believe for one moment that the genius behind the hedonistic hero Oscar Wilde was based on a 30-minute jog and 20 minutes of chanting in the morning. Nor do I believe that the free spirit of Virginia Woolf was the result of ritualistic self-affirmations and a nurturing balance routine. I am not mocking either side of this coin. To the contrary, I am merely pointing out that we do not all need to follow the same path to end up at a destination of personal accomplishment and sense of achievement.

Same cake, same ingredients, different methods

Firstly, the cake represents success (however you choose to define it). Secondly, the ingredients represent the steps you take to getting to your success. Finally, the way in which you choose to mix your ingredients and bake your cake is what sets us apart.

Create your own miracle morning routine and love it!

Main ingredients (same principle, different names)

  • Time to think or rather, not think – clear mind – meditation
  • Planning – defining your goals/day – visualization
  • Exercising – stretching – movement
  • Yoga – grounding/being in nature – journaling
  • You – your mantra/beliefs – self-affirmations
  • Special ingredient shared by all: repeat regularly

Have your own miracle morning

My personal morning starts how I want it to: listening to an inspiring talk on motivation, meditation, meaning of life, etc., whilst imbibing a cup of yogi tea, stroking my beautiful cat, gazing at the trees in my garden (you could equate this to meditating, but it’s not forced). My mind is either blank or I come up with some of my best ideas (like this post!).

Maybe you start your day with a refreshing and energizing walk with your beautiful dog. This is a natural way to reflect, exercise and be grounded by nature. Or perhaps you start your mornings early mucking out the horses and going for a ride. This is also a time to sort your thoughts and be in the fresh air and exercise.

These different “miracle mornings” represent the same key ingredients used by successful people, but their ingredients for success are “baked”, “mixed” and implemented in ways that are more suitable to that particular individual. All these examples include nature, contemplation and animals. They all offer the opportunity for reflection, movement and  grounding. plus, animals are a great way to slow down and connect with life around you.

Your miracle “day” checklist

Instead of cramming all these activities in the morning, you may find you already do them throughout your day. If so you can leap for joy – you’ve just gained whole hour in the morning that you would otherwise dedicate to writing, reading, omming and arring! Let’s make a new miracle day checklist just out of curiosity. At the end of your day, have you:

  • learned / experienced something new
  • practiced mindfulness or reflected on the wonder of the world, e.g. on walks
  • exercised, e.g at the gym, a yoga class, movement of some kind
  • read a great book maybe when you go to bed or when you get a few moments
  • spent some time thinking what you want out of life
  • drank enough water/fluids
  • not indulged in binge eating or wasting time in front of TV!!
  • felt thankful for what you have

If you are doing these things but not necessarily all at the crack of dawn, then you have the ingredients for success in your day. Furthermore, if you do them regularly you’ll reap the fullest benefits for success in your life. Trying to contort the start of your day to fit in a routine that does not feel natural to you is a recipe for depression and self-blame. Let’s not go down there. We want a happy start to our day!

By the way, there is nothing wrong with following what is now considered to be the perfect morning routine. For instance, some people go to the gym at 6 am after sorting out the house stuff and before a busy day at work, and that suits them. Each to their own.

At the end of the day

The most important thing is if at the end of the day you feel satisfied with yourself and your life. On my miracle morning, I realized that I had absolutely everything I wanted. My easy freelancing life as a writer is flexible, giving me the freedom to spend every day with my family or go out to see friends when I want to. For the past 15 years, it has also provided me with ample income to support my family and provide a comfortable home in a beautiful town. The golden dollar I was chasing was the dream society had imposed on me and I in turn had imposed on myself. Hard to shirk off 40 years of brainwashing. But really if there was just me and my family on the planet, I could not care less if I actually owned a private jet or a Swiss ski chalet!

At the end of the day return to yourself. You are your strongest power. The strongest power is within you. Not someone else’s miracle morning. Chase your dream, not the fake golden dollar. It is far more rewarding, you’ll produce better work and success will be natural not forced.

Quick success check: Remove everyone from the planet. Leave just you and your loved ones. And ask yourself: Am I happy with what I have? If not, why? What is missing? Define that and go after it.

Be true to yourself.

Don’t lose yourself in this latest rush of becoming spiritual, screaming “I AM GREAT” to your reflection in the mirror and journaling just for the sake of it. Do it if you believe in it.

Although Shakespeare may have said that we are all actors upon a stage, you do not need to strut your stuff to someone else’s beat. Write your own beat to strut along to. Find your roots again. Think what your mantra might be without having to label it as a mantra, and live by it.

Don't try to fit into someone else's mold. You'll contort and distort yourself. Wear your own size. Sing to your own tune. You'll be happier and more successful this way.
A tight fit will distort you. It’s uncomfortable.
Wear your own size. Feel comfortable.

There is a great French idiomatic saying:

Je suis bien dans mon peau (I am content with myself)

Literally it translates as “I feel good/at ease in my skin”.  Another way of looking at it is: don’t squeeze into a size 6 if you’re a size 12 – and vice-versa. Work out YOUR own miracle morning. Strut to your own beat. There is no disgrace in that. If you are not an early riser, make the most of the wee hours of the morning as you burn your candle in the moonlight like Charles Dickens.

We are writers. We are artists. You cannot clone us or clip our wings to fit us into regimental molds and organized time planners. Creativity is an untameable beast. You just need to know when it is you time to jump on its back and ride that baby – your way!

To sum up: Ask yourself, are you so busy rushing around making sure that you hit those targets, doing someone else’s routine, trying to be like that successful person? So much so that you haven’t even stopped to realize you may have already arrived?

Take a moment. What would your ideal morning or start to the day be like? Are you doing that? Because if you are, it means you’re living life your way. Welcome to the non-famous club of writers/freelancers/entrepreneurs who have arrived.

There actually is a “club” if you’d like to join our group of writers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/writingwarrior Come on over and tell us: What does your miracle morning look like?